Screw you, Fedex. You suck, and you ruined Christmas!

Screw you, Fedex. You suck, and you ruined Christmas!

I dropped five packages off at your Savannah Airport facility on Friday, December 19. I asked if the packages would arrive by Christmas, and was told they would. I told the clerk that I would gladly pay for the next level of shipping if it was necessary, and was told it was not– my packages would be there on the 23rd, the 24th at the latest. I’ve done it exactly the same way for going on a decade, and I have never had a problem. Well, this year, FedEx, you ruined Christmas.

When my packages first appeared in the FedEx system, they had a delivery date of the 23rd. The 23rd came and went, and all my dates were bumped up to the 24th. On the 24th, two of my packages were delivered, one 27 miles from Chicago, and one 52 miles from Chicago. My other three packages were not delivered.

Late in the evening on the 24th, my other three packages had their delivery date moved up to the 25th.

The 25th came, and the delivery date for my remaining three packages was moved up to the 26th, and then it disappeared– no estimated delivery date. I called FedEx to ask why my delivery date disappeared. I was told that my packages were delayed due to “bad weather,” unlikely considering I had packages 27 miles from Chicago, and 54 miles from Chicago in the same time period and shipped at the same time. My family reported clear highways, clear side streets, and delivery trucks in the area.

Even though I remained polite and civil, the FedEx agent on the phone didn’t want to hear how my packages not arriving was an extreme disappointment, and hung up on me mid-sentence. The next agent with whom I spoke was not only sympathetic that my gifts hadn’t arrived, but also sympathetic with the frustration generated when the first agent added insult to injury.

I was told that the station had been contacted, and that I would be contacted with the status of my packages. I was told that the earliest my packages would arrive would be today, Monday, December 29. It turns out that FedEx doesn’t deliver the day after holidays– in this case December 26– even though my delivery date was listed as the 26th.

Just as the 25th came, the 25th went, and so did Christmas. My gifts did not arrive.

On the 26th– the date where FedEx did not deliver, or so I was told– one of my packages was delivered. Its destination was in the Wrigleyville area of Chicago. I received a call from a FedEx agent on that afternoon to tell me that my packages were not lost, were delayed due to the weather, and that FedEx would be delivering them on the 29th. I hadn’t realized that one of my packages had arrived earlier that day, or I would have mentioned that FedEx delivered a package on a day I was told that there would be no deliveries.

On the evening of the 28th, the two outstanding packages were updated with a delivery date of the 29th, a full ten days after I had shipped them. They were both listed as “On FedEx vehicle for delivery.”

On the 29th, one of the two outstanding packages was delivered, 28 miles outside Chicago.

The other package, also listed as “On FedEx vehicle for delivery,” was not delivered. The tracking page stated that there had been a “Delivery exception, No attempt made, delivery scheduled for next business day.”

What exactly does that mean? Did my numerous calls to FedEx not accomplish anything? When the station was contacted, did they not take any steps to expedite the delivery of my much-overdue package?

Now, you may be thinking that this is no big deal. So what, the packages are a little late. Deal with it.

Well, here is part of the contents of the package:

Christmas Cookies 2008

Click to enlarge. What you see are the Christmas Cookies that Jaime and I bake every year. 14 varieties. $150+ for ingredients. An entire weekend of baking– six hours on Friday, twelve hours on Saturday, and twelve hours on Sunday, bringing the total time invested in baking to 30 hours– EACH.

Sixty hours of effort total between the both of us to carefully bake cookies for our families and friends since, even though we couldn’t be there for the holidays, at least a special gift from us– something we made– could.

And as of right now, the evening of Monday, December 29th, the package has not arrived. Jaime just called FedEx and filed a claim so we can get a refund on the shipping, and hopefully recoup some of the ingredient money. Our time– our gift to our families– was wasted. A total loss.

If the cookies arrive tomorrow, they are likely inedible. It will have been eleven days after we shipped them. And even if they do arrive tomorrow, the Christmas-day distribution chain won’t be in place to distribute our cookies to family members across Northern Illinois and Indiana.

What is the likelihood that my brother will drive 89 miles to pickup a $7 plate of cookies? What is the likelihood that I can convince someone to drive another $7 plate of cookies 55 miles to Indiana? Very, very slim.

Sure, there are some gifts in the package that are not perishable. I would love to tell you what they are, but alas they are Christmas gifts and their recipients have yet to open them. As a matter of fact, Jaime and I haven’t even opened our gifts yet. We use webcams to video conference with our family– on Christmas eve– to open our gifts. That way, we can see the reactions as the gifts are opened. Not this year, though. Six or seven years of tradition, broken.

So, FedEx, congratulations on having hauled my Christmas gifts, to this point, a total distance of 820.63 miles in a mere 238hrs 54mins 53secs, an average speed of 3.43mph. Congratulations on taking 11 days to deliver a package. Congratulations on pushing the delivery date of my Christmas gifts a full five days past Christmas.

Screw you, Fedex. You suck and you ruined Christmas!

2 thoughts on “Screw you, Fedex. You suck, and you ruined Christmas!

  1. I cant stand FedEx, they always take forever to ship stuff. I ordered two items at a time on a site multiple times and for some reason they get split into two shipments. One UPS and one FedEx, I normally place them on a Wednesday or a Thursday and UPS always arrives on the following Monday the driver is the coolest guy ever. FedEx doesn’t get here for two extra days, and the driver is a tool.

  2. FedEx ruined our 5 yr olds Christmas. They said our package would be delivered by 3pm…we paid extra for overnight shipping and guess what? Our status updated from delivery by 3pm to no estimated delivery. I called and was told our package is in Indiana…we’re in Kentucky! We don’t have lots of money so we can’t run out and pick up more gifts. We’re heartbroken and our 5 yr old will be too! FedEx you fuckin suck!

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