Shopping – Christmas, Grocery, etc.

1. Attention JC Penney: Shopping in your store is like hunting for buried treasure. Why should I have to walk up to one of your employees and ask, “Excuse me, where are the clothes that are not for fat ladies?” You should put up a sign that says, “Fatties to the left, minnies to the right, and everyone else straight ahead.”

Of all the dollars I spent today– and I spent a lot of dollars– JC Penney didn’t get any of them, not even with a $10 off $25 coupon.

2. Attention Barnes and Noble: If your website says it is in stock online, and I go to the store and ask for the product, do whatever it takes to find the product. Don’t tell me you must be out of them without checking your computer. If I can order it online right now, and pick it up from your store in 60 minutes, you clearly have stock. If you cannot be bothered to look up the product I want, I definitely cannot be bothered to drive to your store and find parking, only to deal with employees who cannot be bothered to look up the product I want.

Of all the dollars I spent today– and I spent a lot of dollars– Barnes and Noble didn’t get any of them.

3. Attention chicken producers: I will not pay you several dollars per pound for 15% chicken broth. At $3.00 per pound, that is the equivalent of paying $25.02 per gallon for chicken broth or, more likely, saltwater. I will not pay you 8x the price of gasoline, 8x the price of milk, or 4x the price of chicken broth, for chicken broth. Any chicken product that is more than 5% solution should be labeled as exactly what it is– chicken product. You know, kind of how people who sell fake chocolate have to describe their product as chocolatey or ice cream that doesn’t contain cream is described as frozen dairy dessert.

That is all.

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