I went to Kroger today to buy a chicken for roasting tomorrow. Knowing that Kroger’s stocking is hit-or-miss, I first went to make sure they had a chicken (even though we are the top chicken producing state in the nation).

The only chickens they had in the cooler were these fancy-pants organic things, with a price in the $10+ range. It was easy to find them– they were flanked by about 3 feet of empty space on either side, where reasonably priced chickens once sat, I presume.

I asked the two managers who were talking nearby if the only whole chickens they had were the $10 ones, and she went and checked. She said they had more in the back, and said she would have an employee get them.

I continued my shopping, getting all of the food for the weekend, and head back to grab a chicken, about 10 minutes later. I once again find $10 chickens, and 6 feet of empty shelf. Now, though, there is a guy who is setting out ground beef.

I ask where the chickens are. He points to a box, where I am expected to fish out a chicken. Why, after the manager specifically asked him to put out chickens, would he instead put out ground beef? Why should a customer, who was patient enough to wait for them to restock, have to sort through a box to find a chicken?

And, the most irksome part– the part that sent me to Kroger’s competitor Piggly Wiggly to buy a chicken– is that the chicken they wanted to sell me was 15% salt water. That’s not chicken, that’s chicken product. They are so salty that I can’t even eat them. And I don’t pay $25/gallon for chicken broth, which is what 15% salt water chicken product works out to at $3/lb.

Piggly Wiggly had a nice chicken, around $6, and only 3% solution. Cheaper on cat food, too.

That is all.

I just got back from your store.

I have a project that, according to my math, works out to about $250. I was planning on buying all of my supplies today. Instead, I bought nothing. The reasons are two-fold, and here they are:

1. Lack of Employee Knowledge. I had to ask five– F I V E– Home Depot employees where I should go to find SKU 755578, Master Flow Water Based Mastic Half Gallon Tub. The first guy didn’t seem to understand the word “mastic,” and sent me to the very far corner of the store, where I found buckets of roofing compounds. No mastic in sight.

The two ladies over there both told me it was in plumbing. That didn’t seem to make sense, so I asked another guy on the long walk back to plumbing. He was confident– Aisle 7, left side, near the end, eye level. Nope, no mastic in sight.

I headed to customer service. The nice lady was able to look up the product, and walked me right over to it. For the record, it was not by roofing, not in plumbing, and not at eye level Aisle 7 on the left near the end. It was eye level, on the right, at the other end, and in different packaging than is shown on the website.

15 minutes to find mastic. 3 tubs in my cart.

2. Poor Stocking Procedures. My project requires a respirator. The first guy I asked knew exactly where respirators were. I looked up the respirator I wanted to buy online– SKU 674580. It is specifically listed as a Demolition respirator, safe for use around insulation. Looking at the display, I find the spot where the respirator I want is supposed to be sitting. There is one respirator in the box, and it is the wrong one.

At this point, I go back to customer service, and ask for her to locate one of these masks. I learned my 15 minute, across-the-store-and-back lesson with the Mastic. She says they have 19, and we head over to where I just was. Sure enough, there are none on the shelf. I located a box of these respirators by the hand-written SKU. The lady gets a ladder, and gets down a box.

The respirators are listed as Lead Paint respirators, not Demolition and Renovation respirators as on the website and the shelf sticker. Nowhere on the packaging does it say it is safe to use with insulation. Either they are listing this respirator incorrectly on their website, or the SKU was hand-written on the incorrect box. Any way you look at it, I will NOT trust a respirator for insulation use that does not specifically say it is safe for insulation use on the packaging.

At this point, I had spent nearly 30 minutes in Home Depot. I had successfully acquired ONE of the ten or so items that I needed to purchase for my project. The item I was not able to acquire is essential to start my project.

I left my cart at customer service. I won’t trust a respirator based on the hand-written SKU by the same Home Depot employees that sent me on a wild goose chase to find a product that they should have located the first time I asked.

Home Depot got ZERO dollars from me today, and it looks like Lowes will be getting my money for this project.

That is all.

Yes, this is the same “Green is Universal” that I have been talking about 2007. I posted about it here and here.

Math check!

3 monitors, let’s say 100 watts each. That means each of them uses 0.1 kilowatt-hours for every hour they are powered, and the three of them it combine to 0.3 kilowatt-hours for every hour of use.

My first post on the subject was Tuesday, November 6, 2007. That is 1,628 days from today. Each day has 24 hours, so about 39,072 hours.

0.3 kilowatt-hours multiplied by 39,072 hours equals 11,721 kilowatt-hours wasted. WASTED!

But that’s not fair, is it? Surely they don’t have them powered on all the time. OK, fine, let’s say they use them 8 hours a day. That means MSNBC has wasted 3,907 kilowatt-hours. WASTED!

According to the US Energy Information Administration:

In 2010, the average annual electricity consumption for a U.S. residential utility customer was 11,496 kWh, an average of 958 kilowatthours (kWh) per month. Tennessee had the highest annual consumption at 16,716 kWh and Maine the lowest at 6,252 kWh.

It appears as though MSNBC has wasted somewhere between about 4 months of electricity for the highest of home users, and up to almost two years of electricity for the lowest home users, all AFTER they declared that Green is Universal.

So please allow me to translate “Green is Universal” from MSNBC-speak into normal person terms:

Green Is Universal, MSNBC Is Hypocritical

That is all.

Major League Baseball ruined opening day.

Baseball, as you may recall, is the sport closely affiliated with such phrases as “America’s Pasttime” or “As American as baseball and apple pie.”

That is why it is so disappointing that Major League Baseball would choose to play the first two games of the 2012 series in a different country, on a different continent, in a different hemisphere.

The 2012 season is underway, with Oakland and Seattle playing twice in Japan. A quick show of hands– who saw it? Who knew about it?

I didn’t think so.

Good job, MLB. You’ve taken a virtual holiday for sports lovers, and screwed it up.

Typical.

That is all.

Yeah, you suck at driving. You cut me off while you were driving recklessly, and failed to take any corrective action once aware of your recklessness.

We were both in left turn lanes, you to the inside, me to the outside. Instead of turning into the left lane, you swept into my lane. You left me with a choice of either slamming into the housing project, or slamming on my brakes and hoping the guy behind me was paying attention.

I honked at you. I don’t think you realized, since you were ON THE PHONE. So as I passed you, I honked again to alert you of my vehicle. I couldn’t trust that you were paying attention. You didn’t signal during the initial turn, so I was unsure if you were about to swing back into my lane.

You were still ON THE PHONE. You didn’t even look over to recognize that you were a safety hazard.

You were behind me the rest of the way because, coincidentally, we both decided to pass the exact same cars at the exact same time. Of course, I always signaled before I initiated a lane change, and you NEVER signaled before you initiated a lane change.

I watched in my rear view mirror as you finished your call. After you completed your call, you then placed another call. You were talking on the phone when I turned out of the 50mph rush hour traffic onto a side street.

It is my greatest hope that, upon the crash you cause due to your recklessness and inattentiveness, you only injure yourself.

That is all.

If I had to vote in South Carolina, in order to keep this thing going I’d vote for Newt and I would want this to continue.

I’m shocked!

Are you telling me that Fox News contributor Sarah Palin is encouraging people to vote for (former) Fox News contributor Newt Gingrich?!

Again, I’m shocked!

On a totally different note, who does this picture of Newt make you think of?

Yeah, he looks like Dwight Schrute.

That is all.

Uhh… DirecTV… do you suck, or are you just shady? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.

I want to order. I have perfect credit. I have never missed a payment on anything ever. I have owned my home for almost a decade, and don’t plan on moving at all.

It all comes down to about $23.

They want me to pay for them to ship hardware from their facility directly to their installer. I think that is ridiculous. The installer can’t do their job without the equipment. Certainly I’m not going to pay for an internal shipment. And they’re certainly not shipping anything to me.

In any event, DirecTV has been sending us these mailers. It’s basically the same offer as online, but an extra $5 off each month for a year. You have to call to receive the offer. Note the bolding.

Today I call, ready to order. We almost made it through the whole process, but it came down to $23.

It is worth noting, for those who might call and order DirecTV in the future, that I found the conduct of their representatives to be unsettling. I felt like I was being sold, not being allowed to buy, which is basic salesmanship 101.

They kept telling me of features for which I qualified, as if I was getting something that other customers do not get. Their website and advertisement indicate that just about everybody gets these features, if they want, when they sign a contract. Tactics like those can come off as shady. They also revealed details of their location and personal lives that, according to a supervisor, they are not permitted to reveal. It leaves me with the impression that they run a pretty sloppy ship over there.

We went through the whole ordering process, including intrusive questions about what I like to watch on TV that should have been avoided by simply asking if I knew what package I wanted, or if I needed help deciding. So at the very end, they tell me it will be about $23 for shipping. What? I thought shipping was free. Nope, not with this offer, apparently.

It says at the bottom of the mailer, “$19.95 handling and delivery fee may apply.” So it may apply. Ok, then, if it may apply, then why does it apply to me?

I’m told that in order to get the Shipping and Handling fee waived, I have to order online. But, the mailer they sent me directs me to order by phone to get the special deal. If I order online, it is impossible get the deal contained in the advertisement.

While they were happy to tell me about all these features for which I qualified, and raved about my credit, they were unable to tell me a single situation where I would be able to get the deal from the advertisement, but not pay for them to ship hardware to someone who isn’t me.

According to the DirecTV people with whom I spoke, in order to get the deal as listed on the flier that was sent to me through the mail, I must pay shipping. Period. Nothing would actually be shipped to me. Period.

Instead of saying a fee may apply, they should have said that a fee does apply. Put it right on the advertisement, and let me decide if I want to spend $23 now for $60 in bill reduction over time, or to save the $23 now and not get the extra discount over time. Why hide the shipping fees by saying they may apply, when customer service representatives insist that it must apply in order to get the deal on the advertisement that enticed me to call?

Can that be viewed as anything but shady? How many people signed up from similar fliers as this, and paid shipping without questioning it? Did they know that the flier said they may have to pay shipping, but the actual offer required them to pay shipping? Of course, they wouldn’t have qualified because, according to DirecTV, the fee that may apply, definitely applies. One thing seems clear,though– the mailer didn’t make it clear that I would pay shipping, and the company can’t tell me any situation where shipping could be avoided.

Twenty bucks, twenty bucks, twenty bucks. It adds up. Lots of mailers. It looks like lots of people may have had to pay a shipping fee, but really had no choice if they wanted the deal in the advertisement.

Now I’m not so sure I want DirecTV. Between the way they seemed slimy on the phone, the seemingly shady fine print, and their unwillingness to recognize that $23 makes or breaks a sale, I wonder why they deserve my business.

The thing is, I would be a great customer. I love football, and I love hockey. The person who referred me to DirecTV– and would benefit from the referral– did it based on the NFL Sunday Ticket, and the NHL Center Ice package. While there hasn’t been a single football or hockey game in the last five years that I have wanted to watch but couldn’t, it would sure be a lot more convenient to just turn on the TV. DirecTV really wants to lose those two sales over $23?

Anyway, I tried to call their corporate office, but– get this– they were closed due to weather. It doesn’t bode well for such a large company when their corporate office in Idaho, which receives 32 inches of snow a year, and is covered in snow for two months a year, is closed due to snow.

In any event, I will try to call their corporate office again tomorrow, and ask how I can get the deal from the advertisement and still fall under the may portion of the fine print. Either their customer service department doesn’t know they can waive the fee, or DirecTV has charged a shipping fee to every single customer who ordered based on the mailed advertisement, even though the fine print indicates that only some people have to pay the fee. And that ignores the fact that nothing is ever actually shipped to the customer.

That is all.

This morning, I was driving behind an occupier. Well, not an occupier– an occupier occupies. This person appeared to be driving to the protest, indicating they were a part time occupier, also known as “hanging out at the park.”

Written across the back window of their $19,000 Made in Mexico car was the following:

REPEAL CITIZENS UNITED

Wait…. w h a t . . . ?

I hope this particular person doesn’t think we can somehow “repeal” a non-profit organization. We can rescind their tax exemption status, but we can’t “repeal” an organization.

The only other reference to Citizens United of which I am aware– and I am acutely politically aware– is the Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission Supreme Court decision. I’m not going to explain what it is, for if you do not know, it is unlikely that you are reading this.

Needless to say, how exactly can a Supreme Court decision be repealed? It can’t. It is a ruling, not a piece of legislation. It’s options are either to be overruled by a future Supreme Court decision, rendered moot via a constitutional amendment, or weaseled around with Congressional legislation of questionable constitutionality.

None of those meet the criteria of Repeal Citizens United. This particular individual should occupy the library, and acquire a bit of self-education on how our government works, before attempting to impact change.

That is all.

Of all the dollars I spent today– and I spent a lot of dollars– JC Penney didn’t get any of them, not even with a $10 off $25 coupon.

2. Attention Barnes and Noble: If your website says it is in stock online, and I go to the store and ask for the product, do whatever it takes to find the product. Don’t tell me you must be out of them without checking your computer. If I can order it online right now, and pick it up from your store in 60 minutes, you clearly have stock. If you cannot be bothered to look up the product I want, I definitely cannot be bothered to drive to your store and find parking, only to deal with employees who cannot be bothered to look up the product I want.

Of all the dollars I spent today– and I spent a lot of dollars– Barnes and Noble didn’t get any of them.

3. Attention chicken producers: I will not pay you several dollars per pound for 15% chicken broth. At $3.00 per pound, that is the equivalent of paying $25.02 per gallon for chicken broth or, more likely, saltwater. I will not pay you 8x the price of gasoline, 8x the price of milk, or 4x the price of chicken broth, for chicken broth. Any chicken product that is more than 5% solution should be labeled as exactly what it is– chicken product. You know, kind of how people who sell fake chocolate have to describe their product as chocolatey or ice cream that doesn’t contain cream is described as frozen dairy dessert.

That is all.

In fact, I didn’t see even a bit of news, not even one second. Any viewers who tuned in to MSNBC between about 2:05PM and 2:56PM EST to catch the headlines of the day were turned away.

Why? MSNBC was too busy airing yet another presidential campaign speech full of platitudes, clichés, and immature partisanship.

Sure, they could discuss the failing EU, the rigged Russian elections, or the two wars we are fighting. But hey, the president is speaking! Why not take a break? The worst that could happen is that some random nobody on some random blog says…

Hey MSNBC, you suck at this!

That is all.